I Miss the Communists

I think the biggest problem with America is not Universal Health Care, or the 1%.

Its that we don't have the USSR to focus against. I know, gentle reader that you will point out China, how they subsidize our debt and really have America by the short hairs.

But come on. We're Americans. We love when people (even communists shhh!) give us money. And why should we be afraid of them? They aren't threatening to reign down nuclear fire on us. They have pandas.

How could they be evil 'Yellow Reds'? Evil people don't have pandas. Or goldfish.

No, the Chinese are harmless.

America needs some kind of big, evil menace that they can point too and say 'See - We're not that'. Don't be like that, and we can be awesome together'.

The big menace we have now is terrorism. And 'asymmetrical' enemies that come with terrorism. But - these are all people painted as 'misguided', or idiots. And they all live in caves right? And Homeland Security and the Patriot Act have been working, right? So I don't think we're really worried about terrorists. At least not anymore or less than we are about spiders, or the Bogey Man.

And you can't really point to terrorists without pointing to, or very near to someone who's Muslim or Islamic. And we don't want to offend anyone; we're not bigots. So you can't really "rail" against them. Where's the parade of terrorists surrounded by tanks and nuclear bombs and stern looking leaders? Terrorists just won't work to focus America.

No - We need some kind of arch enemy super power with radical leaders who shout angry things, are easily characterized on SNL, and who easily distinguished as 'different' from us. And it would help if we could think they were godless or evil.

Maybe America doesn't have that kind of foe anymore, but at least we can be that for the rest of the world.

You're welcome World.